Wrapped in a Bow

I think Disney can be partly to blame and the romantical ending line of "and they lived happily ever after" for my current predicament.  As girls we are bombarded with fairy tale princesses and their happy endings, but what happens when the girls grows up and there is no fairy godmother?

From the outside, we must have seemed like a great family.  The successful, outgoing father, the tall beautiful mother, the gorgeous maticulate home, the family vacations.... Inside the doors was a slightly different world.  All I ever wanted was the type of close knit family that I saw on TV and even in my friend's homes.  We would sit down as a family at 6:30pm every night and have an extremely nice meal that my mom had prepared and when it was done, we would scatter to our own sanctuaries. 

Now as a single, 28-year-old woman, I have divorced parents, a mother and brother who don't wish to be part of my life because I opted to not pick sides, a steady girlfriend for my dad, a dog, and just over 1 1/2yrs of sobriety.  Not exactly the Cleavers, but it works.  Deep down I still crave the fictional family I've cultivated in my head and every so often it bubbles over.  I'm not sure how to deal with a need that doesn't exist in my reality.  

When I was in treatment for my alcoholism, my dad put his life on hold in order to save mine and  for that I am eternally grateful.  I've always considered myself sort of a "lone wolf" so to speak.  I like having my own space, not having to answer to anyone, and basically having things how I want them.  That is certainly part of my personality, but maybe I was molded into that because there was never anyone around.  During treatment I discovered just how much I loved waking up and having coffee with the girls before the gym, all sitting down and eating together, and even though we were all strangers thrown together for the vast majority of the days, we were a multi-aged, humorous, highly dysfunctional, group of addicts and we were family.

I've always thought I was good with change, but I'm learning and accepting that I'm not.  I cling to ideas and things that I love and struggle to let that go.  The people I was once so close with in treatment have all relapsed or moved on with their lives.  I've moved on with my life as well, but with my abandonment issues, it feels like another loss.  My dad is busy with work, travel, new family, and as a father, he feels that by helping me with things/providing he is showing his love.  Which he is, but without a mother I feel really alone.  It's not fair to ask, but how can I get everything I need from two parents from just one?  No matter how old we get, we still need family.