In the Calm of the Storm

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"-Eleanor Roosevelt

Like many things in life, this is easier said than done.  Or is it? So many times we get caught up in the drama and purely unnecessary "fluff" that swirls around us like a tornado and we allow the wind to beat us down.  If we are hit it will hurt physically, but the pain will fade.  If someone we assume is smarter, more beautiful, skinnier, with better hair, etc. looks  in your direction quizzically, the internal army goes to war against our already fragile self-confidence shield.  Those holes may never be repaired and we'll never know that the look had nothing to do with us, but perhaps the curiosity of an unpleasant odor produced by a nearby eatery.  Why do we allow such self negativity?  The things we tell ourself can be so atrocious that we wouldn't say them aloud to our worst enemy.

I believe my self-negativity came from a young age when I was told I was certain things.  Or I should say, not certain things.  While I was also told positive things about myself, I couldn't get the image of what I'm not out of my head.  It completely overshadowed any positive light that tried to seep in.  The world is full of negativity and not everyone takes it in so completely.  It was the moment I believed I truly was that negative thing they told me I was, that I became it.  From there it was an intricate system of dark roots that had been planted inside my brain and grew to taint each area it touched.

27 years later I was introduced to something that changed my world.  No one can take your power.  Inside all of us is the power of control over every choice we make.  While I had allowed that choice to be swayed by the negative roots firmly wrapped around my brain and the wants of others, it was still there.  Deep down I had a choice and no one could take that away from me.  No one could take that power and make me feel bad about myself.  Only I could could do that.  With this information in hand, I had a new choice.  To allow the dark, twisty roots to grow or to let them bloom.  I chose flowers.  There are still things I want to work on within myself both mentally and physically, but I'm secure in who I am as a person.  We all have the choice.   

"Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown"-Author unknown