One of the biggest points of relapse prevention that was drilled into our heads is keeping a schedule. I thought I knew what that meant and I thought I was doing just that. I've recently come to the realization that I have been so far off base! My dad got me a beautiful Louis Vuitton day planner and for the last 19months I've been filling it with plans that other people invite me to. Many weeks, I have a hard time finding anything to write in it or add things after the fact. This past week I finally got it through my head that I needed to get back to the gym so this was my first week. It was through this and planning out my gym days that I realized how much I had left my schedule to other people. There were rarely things of my choosing! I don't mean that I didn't want to do any of the things I have been doing, but instead I waited around for people to invite me to do things. I've always been this way, but I hadn't realized how left out my own thoughts were. I think I know what I want and what is best for me. So why mold my life to what everyone else is doing? Perhaps it's time for others to realize that I have things going on as well. I'm determined to make a schedule and stick to it!!
I went to the gym 3 times this past week which I think was a good start for me. I was trying to weasel my way out of it yesterday and my dad did exactly what I asked him to, and he didn't allow me. I really appreciated it and when I got to the gym I worked harder than I had the entire week. I felt so good about myself and accomplished. Even though I needed a little pushing, I was proud that I followed through on something and did it well. I'm also trying to have more resolve on my food choices. It's not that I necessarily make bad food decisions all the time, but it's the quantity. I am the classic boredom eater!! I was watching an interview with a local fitness trainer who is doing an interesting experiment. He's been personal training for a long time and always been in shape. Client's always said to him, "you don't know what it's like {to be overweight}" and they were right. He decided to find out. He's on a mission to stop working out and gain weight, then once he is at a certain weight, he will start the journey to get fit again. Something really interesting is that he said now he craves soda, sweets, carbs, and all the unhealthy things that he never did before. It's encouraging to me that perhaps when I start eating healthier and feeling better that maybe I'll loose my craving for the unhealthier things. The exercise is hard, but the food addictions is what really stunts the process.
I'm just going to keep moving along and do my best to keep my motivation. I have every reason in the world to follow through with this goal!
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